A woman experiencing depression and anxiety approached me with a complaint against her husband. He was caught on social media engaging in romantic and sexual chats with a stranger. The wife, feeling particularly sincere, was taken aback and traumatized by his actions. After establishing initial rapport, I asked her, “Do you want to set things right with your husband, or do you want to focus on your health? Your well-being is more important than any other challenge.” She agreed and responded, “I want to prioritize my health before addressing the issue with my husband.”
The Fine Line Between Love and Possession:
I addressed the issue with two challenges that she had been ignoring. Firstly, I inquired, “Who gave you the authority to check your partner’s cellphone or social media?” She replied, “I am his wife.” Upon repeating the question several times, I explained to her, “Your possessiveness towards your husband may feel like love, but true love is never possessive. Possessive behavior stems from fear of abandonment, while love is a spiritual feeling of affection and care free from possession. Love allows freedom while setting boundaries. Your fear led you to become hyper-vigilant and suspicious, crossing personal boundaries. Even if you suspect your partner of cheating, you have the option to leave or seek support from relatives. Your fear is generating overwhelming and negative thoughts.”
Secondly, I addressed the instinctive (or engraved ) belief of men to have multiple partners, regardless of religion. I explained that:
“Challenging this instinct means denying reality, and while one may try to avoid this reality, the consequences cannot be avoided.”
Childhood fears about men have exacerbated the issue. It is because of societal restrictions imposed by women that men are confined to one life partner, leading to depression, sexual and emotional unrest, and disturbed marital lives. Suppressing natural instincts only leads to them manifesting in other ways. When the woman accepted this reality, she remarked, “As women, we are responsible for men’s wrongdoings. I feel relieved now that I have faced reality.