Encounter with a Victim Mindset
A woman with a victim mindset, who used to blame her husband and parents for her disturbed emotional health, came into contact with me and began projecting toxic energy daily. As I learned more about her history, it was revealed that she had been the apple of her father’s eye during childhood. She possessed a strong attachment to herself and had developed a habit of fulfilling his demands, as her father used to satisfy all her desires and requests in her early years. In return, she developed attention-seeking tendencies and became obsessive about herself. She exhibited self-centered and manipulative behavior, consistently using words like “I,” “me,” and “mine.” She never took responsibility for her selfish actions, often crossing boundaries and intruding into others’ personal spaces. She had a habit of dictating and controlling others, frequently claiming to be a victim of circumstances and presenting herself as financially disadvantaged.
Handling the Challenge with Strategic Patience
A week into counseling, she began blaming me as well, stating that I had not given her proper time. I discreetly involved her mother, gaining her trust. The following day, when her phone rang, I intentionally ignored her call. The persistent ringing of her cell phone revealed her impatience. She sent offensive text messages, but I chose to disregard them entirely. For three days, she called repeatedly, making around 15 calls each day. Eventually, she seemed to reach a point of saturation and requested to speak with me. During our conversation, she resumed blaming her parents and husband. Surprisingly, I immediately countered her perspective, stating that she was perfectly fine, had no genuine issues, and was manipulating the entire family for her gain. I addressed her self-centeredness and emphasized the need for her to empower herself if she wished to communicate with me.
Later that evening, I received another offensive text from her, criticizing my perceived negative attitude towards her. I ignored her texts for a few days, maintaining silence. After a while, she stopped texting me altogether for six weeks. During this time, I remained in contact with her mother, who later informed me that her daughter was doing well and had gained a sense of self-empowerment. Witnessing this transformation felt like a true blessing.
Conclusion
“Deliberate, long-term waiting improves patience and empowers you more effectively.”
