Dealing with Poor Exam Results: Parenting & Child’s Growth:
A referred child who consistently played the victim role with his parents was exhibiting concerning behaviors. He consistently blamed his parents for both his poor exam results and his health issues. His daily communication often included the phrase ‘I am not well.’
Additionally, he displayed reluctance to engage in extracurricular and physical activities. Moreover, he tended to direct household chores to his siblings, displaying controlling behavior rooted in feelings of powerlessness and neglect. This behavior was accompanied by low self-esteem and jealousy. He resisted his parents’ requests and felt a sense of being looked down upon by his classmates. This reactive behavior was compounded by the over-pampering he received from his parents, which contributed to his stubbornness. He had no aim. His mind was continuously struggling to find a target but remained confused.
The child felt embarrassed about sharing his school performance. Unhealed emotions of hesitation, doubt, and apprehension left him uncertain and reluctant, causing a loss of confidence. The child had a mood tantrum, and he exploited this situation to avoid any physical work. Fear of failure and fear of rejection strengthened his limiting beliefs that he thought that he was unworthy of reaching his goal.
Parenting-Alignment is more important than actions
During my first meeting with parents, I asked them to get connected and develop alignment with their child by giving him quality time, respect, and ownership.
I suggested that:
- Take him for an exclusive outing.
- Actively listen to him for a week.
Additionally, I advised them to assign him minor tasks related to household chores and school assignments. Building his confidence and fostering better communication might seem simple, even childish, but these actions can have a significant impact on his overall development. This advice worked within three weeks.
