Healing comes from integration, not disintegration- A Lesson of My Life
The feeling of my dark complexion made me highly sensitive, and I suffered from an inferiority complex for about 36 years. Since childhood, I have fought against my ego, striving to survive. The inner voices of self-hatred, self-loathing, and self-annoyance accumulated and grew within me over the years. This mental construct constantly rang in my head, whether during family functions, gatherings, guests at home, or interviews. I felt humiliated, ridiculed, and looked down upon, even by close friends. I lost my sense of self, strength, and self-esteem. I yearned to be valued, respected, and accepted, often working to please others.
I never truly accepted myself for who I was. Instead, I disintegrated myself, feeling broken and failing to appreciate my true worth. I avoided social gatherings, ignoring the prompting of my ego to stand up and face the situations. I was disconnected from myself, dismissing the voice of my ego as a trap. I lived in an illusion, unaware of how to bridge the gap between my true self and ego self. I had never loved myself before.
