Possessive Love – The Most Demanded Therapy
Counseling / Therapy – Possessive Love
Love is a Noble Emotion- It is never possessive. During case handling, many heartbroken individuals visit me, seeking guidance and understanding for their self-defined love while also demanding reciprocity. Their suffering does not come from their partner; rather, it arises from their inability to understand the difference between love and possessiveness.
Possessiveness
It is a mental construct developed from ego-based energy. It is cultivated from a sense of deprivation, emptiness, jealousy, or inner void. It arises from a fear of loss, rejection, or being left alone. Possessiveness can be better understood through the concept of ‘possession,’ which typically involves acquiring and owning belongings, land, or material items. However, it’s important to note that one can never take possession of a human being. Human beings are inherently free and independent. Those who exhibit possessive behavior are always on the demanding and receiving end. As they hold a deep fear of losing or/and fear of rejection, they tend to be jealous, anxious, controlling, and often depressed. Continuing with ongoing calls to their partner, they inadvertently compel the partner to initiate avoidance measures. They feel imprisoned for their thoughts, and their eyes and ears keep following others. Their energy consumes them, and they seek replenishment from their partners. They employ aggression and mood tantrums as a security shield to draw attention. Their impatience regarding their demands often robs others of the initiative. It is crucial to note that possessive behavior may give rise to feelings of hatred and provoke violent actions. In the later stages, a possessive partner may cease to respect the other partner and persist in complaining. Consequently, possessiveness exceeds its limits and ultimately leads to downfall.
Love
Love is a spiritual essence that originates directly from God. Love is a tender feeling of affection, care, sincerity, responsibility, and ownership. Love serves as a gift. Love is an upward-trending force that keeps you worthy and upright. Love remains on the higher side and consistently stays on the giving and not on the receiving end. Love is not about reciprocation. Love follows the rules of nature and stays within its boundaries, which is why it never falters or falls. Love provides freedom. Love opens and helps you to let go and release the grip over negative feelings such as rejection, insult, revenge, betrayal, or jealousy. Love frees your mind from dependency and grants you and your partner the freedom to live and the right to live. Love is a bonding. Love is detachment and not attachment, making you flexible and absorbing reality with ease.
Fear of Loss in Relationship: The Most Needed Therapy
To be read in conjunction with chapter 33 (Acceptance Rejects the Rejection, Social Anxiety).
Fear of loss in relationships is a common challenge in today’s scenario, often resulting in dependent and possessive behavior known as anxious attachment. This fear can escalate when there is a perceived risk of losing someone deeply valued. Such experiences can amplify psychological issues, leading the affected individual to feel betrayed or deceived and vulnerable to facing additional challenges. The fear of change may cause the person to prioritize their partner over reality itself. The solution to this challenge lies in understanding that one’s distress is not solely caused by the behavior of others but rather by a misunderstanding of personal empowerment. The following points can help address this issue:
Recognize that no one is more important than yourself.
Understand that it is not the person who holds importance but rather the need you are seeking to fulfill.
Differentiate between the person and the need, and avoid conflating the two.
