Detachment in Love Relationships: Freedom, Ghosting, and Betrayal
Time taken: one session (50 minutes)
A heartbroken individual reached out to me seeking therapy after experiencing the pain of being ghosted in a romantic relationship, which led to feelings of rejection and betrayal. During a counseling session, he openly shared that he held his wife in higher regard than anything else. However, he acknowledged this as his viewpoint (opinion) rather than an objective (fact) or truth. His attachment to his wife had evolved into an addiction and possessiveness that bordered on seeking constant attention.
His ego deeply hurt him. He had become entangled in the past, resulting in a loss of logical and conscious thinking. His mental images struggled to transform into coherent sentences due to weakened sensory perception. Consequently, he experienced self-hatred, which escalated to thoughts of suicide. Expressing dissatisfaction with previous psychotherapists, he deemed his issue insurmountable, leading him to contemplate suicide as a solution.
My Interaction (Resonance) with the Client
I delicately raised the topic of suicide, using the word to establish a connection and resonate with his feelings. I then inquired if he still held onto any appearance of hope, to which he responded with a sense of hopelessness. Pausing… for a moment… I nodded in understanding and whispered to myself, “Hmm…. No more hope?” – creating a space for reflection.
I guided his thoughts, encouraging him to explore the motivation behind reaching out to me despite his perceived lack of hope, aiming to ignite a spark of resonance within him. He became more attentive, acknowledging his uncertainty about the underlying reason for contacting me. Using a questioning approach, I delved deeper, contemplating whether a faint sharing of hope persisted within him, driving him to seek my guidance. After a pause, he tentatively replied, “Probably ‘Yes’.”
Building on This Revelation
Building on this revelation, I softly repeated, “Probably yes,” as we worked together to transform this probability into a potentiality of possibility for extended productivity. Fascinated and curious, he asked how this transformation could occur, indicating his initiative for logical reasoning to challenge his limiting beliefs.
I clarified the distinction between his true self and the ego self (false self). I explained that the true self is pure, rooted in spiritual energy, and inherently connected to the universe or a higher power (God). Conversely, prioritizing others over oneself feeds the ego self, leading to erroneous beliefs and disconnection from the true self, one’s essence.
Contradicting the Natural Order
Contradicting the natural order fosters inner conflict, allowing the subconscious to exert control, often resulting in chaos. Drawing from his Muslim faith, I highlighted the concept of surrender and devotion as a way to realign with one’s true self. I elucidated that the energy of detaching from negative past thoughts resides within the prefrontal cortex region of the brain, facilitating a connection to the higher self.
When you bow or prostrate in reverence to God (Sajda, ہﺪﺠﺳ ), you sever ties with the past, reestablish a link to your higher purpose and a forward-looking perspective, and develop hope.
You as a Healer Should Also Explain:
a. True self, false self & wrong self
b. Possessive love – the most demanded therapy
c. Employ conscience, spirit, and intention
d. Shift probability into possibility
The Revelation and Relief
Through our conversation, he experienced relief from his emotional turmoil. By reframing his perspective, he reconnected with his core beliefs and discovered newfound serenity.
Conclusion
It is vital to differentiate between opinion and fact. His disempowerment and self-loathing had stemmed from a flawed self-perception (view). Emphasizing the importance of true self-understanding brings back the reality. True peace is attained by aligning with the truth that resides deep within your heart, forging a resonance between you and the universe.
